so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
