Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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