We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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