I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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