I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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