god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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