They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I need to sanitize my soul.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
