I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
