he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
