What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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