I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
