Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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