how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize