Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
