He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
