They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
