Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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