It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
