I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just blew my weed a kiss
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
