We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
