i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
