i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
