You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
