if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
4 words: hood of his car
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
