I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
