Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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