North Korea, Best Korea!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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