He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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