I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
