found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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