I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
