Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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