operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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