Swine flu. Run for my life!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
