He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
