plz talk dirty to me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
