i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
