i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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