So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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