My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
