i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
