Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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