So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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