I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize