i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
