So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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