I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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