He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
