I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
