Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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