just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize