i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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