Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
