you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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