My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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