wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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