So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
