ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
