i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he thought i was a dude.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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