So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
