He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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