I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
