there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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