I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
