Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
