last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize