hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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