Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
