I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
