I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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