Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
