if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
