How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
