Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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