No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
