K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
