yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
