sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
